Monday, February 1, 2010

Who am I?

Lately I have been feeling very overwhelmed. I even debated posting this because I don't even know that it makes any sense to anyone but me.

Things have changed for me. Definitely physically. I look at pictures and wonder who that girl was and how did I get that way. So many people say I don't remember you that way. That was me. Its funny to think that I have changed so much physically but have I changed in other ways too?

My thoughts on food and exercising have definitely taken a turn for the better. I don't look at food for comfort or happiness any more. I think before I put it into my body. I plan what I am going to eat daily sometimes more into the future than that. I am addicted to exercise. I know every Wednesday is my hard workout day and look forward to it. I get up in the morning thinking about what exercise I will do that day. Food and exercise are my life.

I cannot go a day without someone asking me about my weight loss or what I am doing. Give them motivation. Give them tips. Tell them what to do to get it done. This doesn't mean I want anyone to quit asking or motivating me!

My life has become obsessed and consumed with it all. It overwhelms me. Am I me or am I the weight loss? It's nothing no one else has done. I have made it this way.

I am proud of the accomplishments. I am excited to continue on my journey. I guess what I am dealing with is how to be me who I have always been but yet change at the same time and not be totally consumed with it. Am I different? Will I always need to be consumed with it to reach the goal and then maintain it? What will I be like when I reach goal? I have so many questions!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think the exercise obsession is something you will stick with because it is fun and you like it.
I think you are going to make an awesome WW leader or motivational speaker at the end of this journey.
I am so proud of you and to add to the first paragraph, I never saw you that way. I think the people fortunate enough to really get to know you never did.