Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Old things pass away...behold everything new

One more note...

It is so hard to say goodbye sometimes. It can be a struggle. I guess I just have to remember the good and say goodbye to the bad. And look forward to the new in the new year. Old things pass away behold everything new.

New goals for a new year

Today is the last day of this year. What a year it has been. There has been some note worthy things to remember.

One of unbelievable things that happened this year was my little brother getting married. It was a shock. OK the shock was that he asked Kelly and set the date for two weeks later. Yes two weeks. I was upset at first. Not because they were getting married. I wanted them to. It was because he wanted to get married on the weekend that I had a trip planned. But was okay because I love them both. It was a beautiful ceremony.

Another unbelievable thing that happened was that I flew to DC to spend a week with Joe, Janie, and Eli. It was fabulous. I loved it. Several months ago I would have never even considered flying. I guess because I was afraid. Afraid of my size. Afraid of not fitting into a space. Afraid of many things that a normal sized person would not consider. Afraid. But the day I left I was so excited and not scared at all. At the time, I had lost about 70 or 80 pounds. I really think that Mother, Daniel, Jason were more afraid than I was. I cannot wait for April when I take my ANNUAL trip to see Janie, Joe, and Eli.

I had to edit my writing today because I forgot something that happened that was very important. I walked a 5K. It was fabulous. When Jennifer asked me to do it, I was not even hesitant. I mainly wanted to walk to bring honor to Steve. I know that he would have been proud of me. I also walked because I could walk. I knew that I could do it. I kinda questioned that I could do it when it hit the second mile BUT I had a fantastic cheer team that inspired me to go on.. We did it. We made it through the first, second, and third mile. We did not skip corners, blocks, or steps. We were not first or even in the middle. We were last. But next year we will be in the middle. We will finish. I will finish. One day we will run and finish!

Something else happened too. My life took an upward turn. I know I lost 100 pounds (duh) but that is just the physical change. I look back at the pictures and I don't remember that I even looked that way. I have had so many people say that to me. "I don't remember you looking like that." I was talking to a friend the other day. She said that I was just me. You know big, medium, or small...just me.

I sometimes worry about what I will look like and be like when I get to my goal. Sometimes I am afraid. What will I be like? I really hope that I am me, wonderful me, HA, just the best me that God designed me to be..inside and out.

I didn't make any resolutions for 2008 and I am not going to make any for 2009. I am going to make goals. My goal for 2009 is to lose an ADDITIONAL 100 pounds. I cannot wait. I look forward to a new year with a new goal. I look forward to new adventures and new things. I look forward to finding the new me in 2009.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I was going to wait

I could not wait anymore.

I love commercials. Hallmark. You know the ones that make you tear up. Do you remember the one where Poppa learns to read? Avery was singing "Hello happiness, bye bye nastiness, Give Seabond a try." How about the Folgers commercial. I love the old classic ..."Peter." Commercials can really get to you.

I have to admit with the cable world as it is..DVR. I record almost everything and forward it thru the commercials. I still watch television occasionally, live. Today is one of those days. I am watching and wrapping. Watching NCIS and wrapping presents. It is live.

You know what I noticed? Lose weight. Try this. Succeed today. Start today. Our program works the best. Have you seen all the commercials about losing weight?

Here's a few. I have changed the names for privacy. HA!

Gut tie - we're here to help you. So you are going to come home with me and fix my meals and make sure I am eating healthy?

Fatfast - take the guess work out of dieting. Guess what? I know the healthy from unhealthy?

Enemy - fine print - sensible diet. Isn't that we need to do in the first place - be sensible?

Penny Meg - it will change your life!

I use Weight Watcher. It also has commercials that get to you.

The thing is how many of these programs are out there. So many things are out there to help us lose weight, get healthy. It seems that they are really showing up here close to the new year. What comes at the beginning of every new year? RESOLUTIONS! What is America's #1 resolution? I decided to google it. Guess what it was? Getting healthy!

I, too, have made resolutions every year and I break them. Actually, for the year 2008, I didn't resolve to lose weight. I just did it. It did come the first day of the new year but it wasn't something I wrote down and tried to hold to. I actually wasn't even that committed until a few days or week later.

Here comes the new year. Guess what I don't have to make a resolution again this year. I don't have to say this is the year. I have already started on that journey.
Here's my resolution: I resolve to get closer to my goal weight than I was last year. Wow. I can do that!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Girl's Night Out

I had to somehow persuade our girls to learn a "dance" to participate in the adult choir cantata. It would be silly comstumes and practice. The bribe? We could have a girl's night out at my house. If they did it, they could come and stay at my house and PARTY. That was 3 years , lots of sleepless nights, giggles, and tears ago.
Somehow the GNO's have come down to a few. There have been some to come and some to go. We are not an exclusive club. Even though some might think that. It's just that we are a close knit group...we have been thru so many things together. We have traveled many miles together. We have laughed so hard...well....we almost....
Diana and I have had the priviledged of ...I would say...mold these girls. We love them as if they were our own little sisters! Their parents have...for some reason...entrusted them at different times to us.
Let me introduce you to them...
Rachel....she is so special! She is our youngest. She will forever be twelve. She is our one that is full of herself yet is so loving! She is going to be America's Next Top Model.

Hilary....she is quiet...most of the time. She is so sweet. She is a extraordinary young lady.

Sarah..she is so funny. We love to see her get excited. one wants to wake her up. She is an amazing young lady.

Ashley...2 Luke...a blondie...she is compassionate. She has a sweet spirit. She is a dazzling young lady.

Alyssa...Boy....she is such a little Mama. She is a mess. She keeps up stirred up...picking and playing. She is a joy!

Kylie...our grownup college girl. Please do not give her sweet tea. She is fantastic. darling. I have definitly known her the longest. She is just great.

The girls are always trying to figure out who I love the most. HMMMM....I love them all the same. Each one special for their own reason and personality.

What do they have to do with my weight lost journey? They love me for me. No matter what size I am they love me. They all support me in my journey in different ways. From hugs to words, they support me. These girls inspire me each day to work hard to reach my goals.

I told the girls the other day that after Rachel and Ashley graduate that we will not have gno's anymore. I will be retired. Their response? Can we have college girl's night out? Well....

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


OK...I had someone fuss a little at me because I am behind on my blog. So here I am....

The last few weeks I have been struggling!! WANNA KNOW WHY?
How many parties or celebrations have I had....Let me list....
1. Thanksgiving Day
2. Ladies' Christmas Party
3. Jason W's Ordination
4. The birth of the twins ...we went to Shreveport twice and ate out.
5. School Christmas Party for the Children....don't forget this includes.....Santa Cake, Little Debbie Trees, Traina's Cookies, M & M cookies, candy, Chocolate Santa's with marshmallow....this is not a complete list...there is more but too long to list.....OH from parents.....CHOCOLATE AND MORE CHOCOLATE.
6. Faculty and Staff Christmas party....we will graze from 1:00 until.....
7. Church supper
8. Girls Night out Christmas
9. Christmas with Mother and Brothers
10. Christmas Eve at Mam-maw's
11. Christmas Day at Mother's with Kennedy's

OK my conclusion? Whoever said that we should eat for a day not a season is unrealistic. They apparently have no family, no friends, no church family, no job, no LIFE! Get real. From Thanksgiving to NYE's is a constant is seems there is more food and more calories in those few weeks than all year long. But it's OK because I have lost 100 plus pounds and I can make it through this season...HEY....I look forward to 2009.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Get up, dust off, and refocus!

I am finding it hard to stay on track during the holiday season. I have already attended 2 parties this week. It is hard to stay within points with all that holiday food. But I am not going backwards. I going to keep remembering how far I have come. I am ready for the new year.

I want you to hear something from me. I know how hard it is to lose weight. I have fought it my entire life. I am going to fight it for a long time. My motto when I started was BE SELFISH. I had to be selfish. I knew that if I wanted to live a full life, I was going to have to make a decision to change my lifestyle.. I have heard all the talks. I have been given all the pep talks. I had to realize that I wanted to live a long healthy life. I want to be able to see my nieces and nephews graduated high school. I want to get married and have a baby. I want to be the best me God intended and designed me to be. You know it is not about being skinny. It is about being healthy!

If I was totally honest with everyone and myself, I have been REALLY off. I have resorted back to some of my previous habits. I really don't like it. People keep telling me how I have inspired them and how great I am doing. I know that I have done well.

But right now I feel like I have let myself down and all the others that have said how proud of me they are. During the day Saturday, I went and laid down. I guess I am feeling depressed. I have to get up off my bottom , dust off, and refocus!

Courage is being scared to death... and saddling up anyway. John Wayne