Friday, April 9, 2010

Goodbye to the old hello to the new!

Yesterday I had to say goodbye to an old friend. Yes there were a few tears. We've been friends for a long time but yesterday I decided to let her go. I actually buried her. Our friendship just wasn't the best the for me. She caused me pain and heartache. She made me cry often.

Goodbye old friend.....Now I'm moving on. THe new girl is happier, more upbeat, and confident. I'm never going back to the old!

Bob and La

My friend MIchelle likes to take pictures of me when I am not looking. Why? Stalker! Kidding. Is she a nut?. Nah. It's actually to show my weight loss off. She wants me to see the success. Where I am not where I use to be.

To set up this story....after Fit Camp last week I needed some one on one training with my favorite trainer...Bob. For some reason I cannot get those arm Bob had to help. By the way, I still aint got it. Sorry Bob...I haven't practiced in the mirror...I'll get it soon!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Testimony becoming a ministry

My purpose for more than two years has been to lose weight; to become a better me. I struggled through some thoughts recently about how weight loss has become every part of my life. It has consumed me.

I'm finally at a place that it is okay. Why? Because my mind has changed.

Several weeks ago I started praying and thinking. My friend Michelle seems to think that I should quit thinking and have fun because when I do I certainly can over think! I do agree with her.

Today I was reading me Bible when I came across a Bible study and a verse about thinking in the flesh and not discerning what the Holy Spirit has for you through prayer and scripture.

Romans 8:5-6 says Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what the nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.

More often times than not I think selfishly. We must daily chose to consciously center our thoughts on Him.

Lately I've been trying to discern what God has for me through my journey of weight loss and change. I need to stop thinking about how overwhelming it is, how it has changed me, and begin to think about how HE can use it to bring Him glory!

I have been praying that He would use my testimony of weight loss to become a ministry. I have really tried to give credit to Him more now than ever. I realize that so often I would say thank you to people and give credit to my family, my friends, my trainer, myself. But I cannot continue to do that. It's all about Him. There has been times in the past that I have given Him the honor He deserves to bring me to the place I am now but not often enough.

God has been in this all along and used some amazing people to help me through this.
Let me describe some ways.

He sent precious young ladies to help me understand that it was time to begin. He has continued to have those young ladies in my life to love on me, tell me I am beautiful, and reassure me that I am all that!
He used me Mother to continue to pray for me even when I wasn't ready so many times before.
He used my best friend to encourage me to go to the meetings when it would have been easier to just not go.
He used my friend to keep walking even though I was tired!
He used another friend by sending cards every time I reached a goal or when I didn't.
He gave me a friend to cry on their shoulder when I was having a rough time.
He sent me co-workers who encouraged me every day to keep winning the battles.
He gave me the best Wednesday night workout partner ever...Shauna!
He placed me with a church family that loves me more than I will ever realize.
He sent a sweet man who told me that he was worried about me. He never said a word until after I started losing weight but it came at just the right time.
He placed a Weight Watcher leader in my life that saw it in me that I conquer the war!
He gave me a walking buddy with kids and a dog.
He sent me a sweet new friend Meredith; who is just precious.
He sent people to the track that I would have never met any where else.
He sent Stephen to help me get started again and to be my friend and my trainer that encourages me.
He gave me more extended family than I know what to do with.
He gave me AJ and Zack to make me laugh and keep my chin up!
He sent people my way to speak to me in the middle of stores. Seriously people I don't really know that somehow know me.
He sent me emails and FB comments to cheer up me and refresh my spirit.

These are only a few of the ways that He has been in the midst of this. Some of these people have been in my life since the beginning, some from the middle, some are gone now, while others are brand new. But I know without a doubt that one has not been more important than the other and God orchestrated it all.

I even realize that there are probably some ways I will never even realize but I would never want to overlook.

My friend recently sent me text that said this....
Knowing purpose, and a growing passion in life for that purpose is what makes life all that it is meant to be.

Is my purpose to share about my weight loss? I don't know that. But I do know that whatever my purpose is I want it to bring honor and glory to Him that created me, loved me enough to send His Son, and continues to cheer me on from His throne. So can use my weight loss to bring all that about...without a doubt I believe that. I cannot wait to see who He sends my way and how He uses me.

New pictures

Easter 2009 Easter 2010

Saturday, April 3, 2010

HMMM Who are you?

One day after school this week, I went to the track. Because I left so quickly from school, people were still picking up students from the high school. I saw my aunts car so I decided to walk over and talk to her and my cousin. As I was walking up, a lady that I taught her daughter(and have known for a while) was walking towards me. She was about 2 car lengths from me. I raised my hand and kinda waved. She ignored me. We got a little closer and I raised my hand and said hey girl. Nothing. I thought what's her problem what did I do! My next thought was maybe she couldn't tell who I was because I had sun glasses on. I flipped them up. Still nothing...she was looking right at me. Finally when we were only a feet from each other she broke out in a smile. She said on my Lord I did not know who you were. . She couldn't believe how I had changed. It has only been about 6 or 7 months since I had seen her.
To be honest! I was really tickled that she didn't know me! All i can say is YES!

Friday, April 2, 2010

Fat Days...Skinny Moments

Some people may not understand fat days and skinny moments. I don't think this is a weight loss thing. Let me help you understand!

Sometimes I have fat days. Those are days when I still see myself as the old person. I see myself as the largest girl in the room. I see where I use to be and not where I am and where I am going. These are hard days to get through but I usually combat them with pep talks and exercise!

Then sometimes I have skinny moments. Those are the days when I see the weight I've lost. I had a skinny moment the other day when I was walking in the Galleria with the girls during our weekend in Texas. I was looking at clothes and I realized that they don't look so small anymore. Some of the clothes are doable for me! It's a possibility that I can find something besides the big girl store.

The other skinny moment I had was tonight. It's funny because I usually have the skinny moments when I see pictures of myself. I was taking pictures with my girls and saw myself. My face looks skinny. My face was stinkin thin. I was so excited that I could not stop looking!

My sweet 15 year old cousin encourages skinny moments when she hugs me and says.....every time....I can get my arms around you and squeezes my harder! I love that.

I hope one day that I have less fat days and more skinny moments....oh wait I want skinny days and fat moments!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Whats all this about!?

This journey started off as a challenge without my heart being into it. But it has developed into a lifestyle that has changed me forever.

Life is so unexpected. I'm not really sure that two years and three months ago I really believed that I would be 162 pounds smaller and would be so healthy. Oh yeah I have 101 pounds to go but I know that i am going to get to that goal I set back 2 years and 3 months ago.

Here's a few things that run in my silly mind probably 10,000 times a I crazy?
1. I've lost a person plus!
2. I use to weigh over 400 pounds...never going back to there!
3. I have a personal trainer. Who by the way is simply fantastic. Thank you Bob!
4. I have red hair...which makes people think I'm sassy...I am..but was before.....just more now! Thank you Sister in law!
5. I can now wear an XL and use to pray that I could find an 3XL to fit good...sometimes 4XL.
6. I use to wear 34/36 in pants/shirts and now its more like 18/20 shirts and 22/24 pants...that will change soon.
7. I feel better than I ever have.
8. I have lost physically but I've grown emotionally!
9. I can see my goal in sight.....I'm almost to the point where I don't have to lose triple figures anymore.
10. I feel great and I'm so happy.