Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Mean girls

I am laying here trying to decide what to write about and the one thing I keep coming back is MEAN GIRL. 

After a wonderful week in Guatemala, I was on cloud 9. What a wonderful week we had.  Loving on children.  Fellowship with believers.  Learning more about ourselves.  And growing with my Lord.  But it doesn't take long for someone to enter into your life and jump on your cloud.

I always wonder who I will sit by on a plane. I actually worry because of my size and the size of the seats. This is a big girl worry.  I pray that it is someone I can talk with, minister to, and feel comfortable with.  Someone who doesn't mind sitting by the big girl who may take up part of their seat.  The flight to GUA was great. I sat on the aisle beside a young lady also traveling to do mission work.  It was a nice flight.

Fast forward a week.   I again started praying about who I would sit by.   The worry was there again. 

21E.  I had a middle seat. NOT GOOD. 

As I entered the plane, I ask for a seat belt extender.  The steward as me what seat. When I replied, he said oh best seat on the plane.  HOW funny.  Eased up my nerve some.  I moved toward my seat anticipating who I would sit by.  There by the window was a sweet man. I received a sweet smile as I sat down.

We waited for a while for our third neighbor to arrive.  At the last minute, a lady approached my row.  She looked at me.  She just didn't look at me she eyed me. 

Carl the steward approaches.  This is our the conversation went.

I don't mean to be rude but I can't sit here.
Carl: Excuse me.
HER......While looking at me....I don't mean to be rude but I cannot sit here.  I need to put my arm rest down. And I cannot sit here.  I'm not trying to be rude.  But it is a 3 hour flight.

I started trying to get the arm rest down but she wouldn't have it. 
Carl showed her an empty seat two rows in front of us beside one of my friends.  I said I can go up there. I know here.  Carl insisted I stay where I was.  He said I would be fine.  It was ok. 

I leaned up to Stephanie...that was mean. Stephanie said...I can hit her on the head if you need me to....No. We were ready to get home. We didn't need to get kicked off the plane.

Carl seated her then came back to bring the extender and to see about me.  TOO LATE. The tears had started flowing.

Not only were there tears...there was snot, snubbing, and shaking.  I was so upset.  Never had I been so humiliated  in my whole life. 

Carl told me it was going to be ok.  Ask me if I need anything and after a list of things we settled on a Kleenex.  He brought the entire box.  

I thought I would never stop crying.  It hurt so bad.  My chest felt like it would explode.  I cannot imagine someone being so mean.  See if I live in a world where people love me and care about me.  They care about me but don't see my weight and even if they do...they don't show it.

The crying would not stop.  I was praying God help me when suddenly I felt arms reach around me from behind.  It was the best feeling. Someone was there when my heart was hurting so bad.  A sweet voice whispered to me that is was ok, I was loved, and that if I needed it anything he was sitting close behind me.  It was one of the men on our trip.  He had been a gentile giant the entire trip. Holding hands to get on the trucks, getting our bagging, making sure our small group walked together to the hotel, giving a hand to come down the steps.  And now he was there again to love on me when I really needed it.  Thank you God for a man like James who didn't care about what people thought just that someone was hurting.  My heart eased up and my crying slowed down.  I couldn't cry the whole flight. 

This was a 4 hour flight.  Carl.  Remember him?  He's still in the picture.  He came by me more times that I could count. He smiled at me, made conversation, insisted that I have a drink(even suggested Vodka as a joke).  He was just precious. 

I did stop crying and fell asleep off and on but rest assured this guy made sure my flight was not stressful.

Soon the Captain was saying that it almost time to land.  Guess who I found checking on me? Yep Carl.

He approached me, leaned down, and said " you have a great day." with a smile and a wink.
Then he leaned in closely and said....."Blessed are those who trust in the God of Israel."  I was taken back.  It was a sweet word spoken over me at a time most needed.  I patted him on the arm with a thank you.  As he walked a way, I was thinking I would not every see him again but what impression he had left.  A sweet kind thoughtful...I believe... a believer. 

Off the plane........walking to customs. When you are in the airport, people are constantly moving by you.  Pulling their bags.  I heard someone approaching from behind.  Then I feel someone brush right beside me.  It was Carl again.  He said hello with a smile.  Then ask my name. 

Laura.  Have a great day Laura and with a smile and my heart full....he walked on.

As I was thinking about what happened, still hurt over this mean girl, God began to speak to my heart.  I cannot say that my feelings were not hurt or my heart hurt.  I had been praying one thing but God had a better plan.  It was amazing how God used these two men to show His love.  It also made me aware that I need to be more alert to others that are hurting in my path.  We all need to be aware and alert to those around us that are hurting, grieving, crushed, suffering, tender, wounded.  They are out there but we just need to have our eyes, mind, and hearts open. 

1 John 3:18
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth

Guatemala 2012

Last week was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. 

Guatemala 2012was great.
Most people would say that the time in the center was there favorite and even though I LOVED the children and the center.  I think what meant as much to me was the time spend to and from the center.  

Sunday night, Ron made the announcement that we would be riding 3 buses. 
1. Cynthia....for those that loved to sing.
2. Karina....for those that liked to visit but not as much as bus 1.
3. Ron.....for those that needed quiet.

I immediately knew what bus I wanted to get on.  Cynthia's BUS! Ron was soon taking back those words because he had not checked with Cynthia.  We would be assigned buses. :/

Monday morning was full of excitement.  The time had come that all of us had been waiting on....the work at the center.  We met in front of our hotel,  prayed, and wait....buses were to be loaded as first said!  Singing bus it would be for me!

This was the beginning of the church bus.  Remembering back the first day I sat by Chad.  He was put on the bus because there was not room on the other bus.  There was Rachel, Sarah, Alyssa, Julie, Cynthia, Matt, Claira Linda, Kelly Ann, Stephanie, Jenn, The Hensley's,  Ronda, Beth, Alejandra, Kealsy, Aunt Ruth, Shauna, Chad, and myself.  The ride to the center was full of chatter and visting.  We sang some of the Spanish songs that we had been trying to learn.  We did ok.  Hahaha! We were actually busy.  We were looking for the five "f's".
Freeway.  Forrest. Furniture. Farms. and Flowers.  Cynthia had made this up to help a previous group of teenagers make time pass faster. It worked on a group of ADD adults!  

Tuesday morning was my favorite.  We sang hymns, praise choruses, we worshiped. Scripture was read.  People gave testimonies.  Prayers were uttered.  It was a sweet sweet spirit.  ALL ON A BUS.  It was full of God's children who were not within the four wall of a beautiful building.  Felt no constraints.  Just a sweet time fellowshipping and worshipping with their brothers and sisters.

Our lives should be like this.  Free of worry. Free of  limitations. Just living a life that is God-centered, full of worship, and focused on HIM. Seems radical? 

Let's be different.  Lets stand out in a world that needs to see believers representing a wonderful, beautiful Savior and Lord that we worship.

I am not there yet. I am far from perfect but I want to live as I am on the church bus everyday of my life. Singing. Worshiping. Praying. Living for HIM.  Focused on Him. Encountering Him.

Catch up

I use to be so good at this. Blogging was my thing. I had followers. I had thoughts.  I wrote all the time.  Then it stopped.  
Recently I decided that it would be good for me to start again.  The blog is going to change a little.  It will not  just be about weight and getting healthy.  Its just life.  And so the writing begins.....

Wait I still have thoughts!