Wednesday, December 31, 2008

New goals for a new year

Today is the last day of this year. What a year it has been. There has been some note worthy things to remember.

One of unbelievable things that happened this year was my little brother getting married. It was a shock. OK the shock was that he asked Kelly and set the date for two weeks later. Yes two weeks. I was upset at first. Not because they were getting married. I wanted them to. It was because he wanted to get married on the weekend that I had a trip planned. But was okay because I love them both. It was a beautiful ceremony.

Another unbelievable thing that happened was that I flew to DC to spend a week with Joe, Janie, and Eli. It was fabulous. I loved it. Several months ago I would have never even considered flying. I guess because I was afraid. Afraid of my size. Afraid of not fitting into a space. Afraid of many things that a normal sized person would not consider. Afraid. But the day I left I was so excited and not scared at all. At the time, I had lost about 70 or 80 pounds. I really think that Mother, Daniel, Jason were more afraid than I was. I cannot wait for April when I take my ANNUAL trip to see Janie, Joe, and Eli.

I had to edit my writing today because I forgot something that happened that was very important. I walked a 5K. It was fabulous. When Jennifer asked me to do it, I was not even hesitant. I mainly wanted to walk to bring honor to Steve. I know that he would have been proud of me. I also walked because I could walk. I knew that I could do it. I kinda questioned that I could do it when it hit the second mile BUT I had a fantastic cheer team that inspired me to go on.. We did it. We made it through the first, second, and third mile. We did not skip corners, blocks, or steps. We were not first or even in the middle. We were last. But next year we will be in the middle. We will finish. I will finish. One day we will run and finish!

Something else happened too. My life took an upward turn. I know I lost 100 pounds (duh) but that is just the physical change. I look back at the pictures and I don't remember that I even looked that way. I have had so many people say that to me. "I don't remember you looking like that." I was talking to a friend the other day. She said that I was just me. You know big, medium, or small...just me.

I sometimes worry about what I will look like and be like when I get to my goal. Sometimes I am afraid. What will I be like? I really hope that I am me, wonderful me, HA, just the best me that God designed me to be..inside and out.

I didn't make any resolutions for 2008 and I am not going to make any for 2009. I am going to make goals. My goal for 2009 is to lose an ADDITIONAL 100 pounds. I cannot wait. I look forward to a new year with a new goal. I look forward to new adventures and new things. I look forward to finding the new me in 2009.


Melissa said...

Great post! Don't be scared. You will still be you and that's the reason all of us love you!

Abbie said...

I look forward to you meeting all of your goals. You are and have always been an inspiration in my life...spiritually, emotionally and now physically you inspire me to be better. I love ya more than ya know and wish you the best in this upcoming year to meet your goals...all of them. whatever they may be.

Melissa said...

That's right! Don't forget about our hard work!! We need to begin training early so we aren't dead last again. :) I might have to shed the kids, or at least the one that won't ride in a stroller.