Friday, July 29, 2011

Next Chapter

If you an still reading...on to the next chapter of my journey.

After my wild experience at church, I cannot tell you how stressed I stayed. Some of you who are reading this may say really? Yes really. Only a few friends knew how stressed I was. I was constantly worried about passing out again. I worried because there was no specific medical reason lets give her some medicine, lets do this or that to prevent it from happening again. So panic, anxiety, whatever the word set in. I was afraid it would happen again in church, at school, driving, with friends. It was so nerve racking! Emotionally straining and draining.

For two weeks, it stayed this way.

Then something else began stressing me....pain in my shoulder blade on my right side. Oh my gracious. One morning I just woke up in pain. At first I thought I was sleeping wrong. Then maybe pleurisy. Except it starting getting worse. The pain was in my back, then it hit my shoulder. It was all I could do to get up. Take a ibuprofen. Get to work. Make it through the day. I began to believe that maybe I had hurt my back sometime during all my days of working out! I just thought the pain was bad. Looking back now the pain went from bad to worse to severe over night. I went from the pain in my back to pain from my head to my toes.

I had to pray every morning....Lord help me get out of bed today because if you don't I can't. I couldn't move my neck side to side. I could not raise my right arm. My legs were stiff. My feet hurt. It was the most horrible pain. I went from being able to workout like a 2o something young long to a person with years of wear and tear on their body.

I went to visit a local doctor. Actually I went more than one time and each and every time.....nothing. She could find nothing. She couldn't figure it out. I had x-rays done. I had lab work done. Exams. No answers!

The final straw....the nurse calls....we found nothing. Silence. Me...well? Nurse...hold on. Nurse....the doctor says we can refer you to an orthopedic doctor. OK thanks. are my doctor. You are letting me go and you cannot give me answer or the next step. Where do I go? What do I do? Why is this happening! I got so mad. My poor Mother. She got the kick of my meanness. I was so upset. I was crying. I knew something was wrong. So many thoughts went through my head. So many questions with no answers.

Let me catch you up where I was in my life.
spiritually......let down and desperate

It felt like my world was crashing down. My health had been stolen. My once carefree loving spirit gone. Sparkle gone. Spiritually there were so many questions.

Many days were filled with the struggle to just survive.

And the weight was starting to come more stress factor.

More to come......

No comments: