King of My Heart

I spoke at a ladies conference in October of this year.  God used that opportunity to continue to help heal me spiritually and physically.  

This is the testimony I gave that day.  

 Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.  

The last few weeks as I've been thinking and praying about what to say and the song KING OF MY HEART has been on my mind.  It's been on the radio I think every morning and every afternoon on my way to and from school.  The words say. "You are bigger than any battle I'm facing. Bigger than any thing I've been chasing.   These words really spoke to me. "

 KING OF MY HEART 

Over the last 4 years I've faced a battle that I couldn't handle.  I've had some really bad times.  Times I didn't want to get up out of bed.  I didn't want to face people.  I wanted to give up. Very low times.  

I stand today to tell you that but even in the darkest times God was there.  I couldn't handle it but with Him I can! He was fighting for me and still is.  He has surrounded me with friends and family that love me and lift me up.  Ministered through scripture that friends shared. He was there.  Through people that didn't even know they were helping.  He used times of worship and the Word to speak to me.  He was there.  He was there sometimes whispering other times shouting at me...I've got you.  

The song says He is bigger than any battle I face. But It also says that he is our hope.  Philippians 4:4-6 says Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  

It would seem strange that a man in prison would be telling us to rejoice. But Paul's attitude teaches a big lesson.  OUR INNER ATTITUDES DO NOT HAVE TO REFLECT OUR OUTER CIRCUMSTANCES. Paul was full of joy because he knew that Jesus Christ was with him. It is so easy to get wrapped up in our circumstances and be discouraged. But we have a Savior who has fought for us and will continue to fight for us. 

Lift up your head God our fighter is on our side Christians!   Trust Him.  Psalm 20:7 says some trust in chariots, some in horses, but WE trust in the name of The Lord our God.  

Side-note:

After I spoke that day, a sweet lady called on  pray for me.  The ladies gathered around, laid hands on me and I was anointed with oil.     Hearing the voices of the ladies praying for me was amazing.  They prayed for courage, faith, strength, and healing.  They thanked God for who I am and how he made me. I felt the strong presence of the Lord surround me and fill me. I am thankful for those ladies, most of them whom I didn't know, for praying for me and lifting me up!  It is a day I will not forget. OH what a blessing!

Love --- don't use the word lightly.

This is therapy.

Love from a distance. A friend once told me this.  Yes she did. She had decided to love me from a distance.

My first thoughts...Really? What the heck does that mean!? Are you crazy cra?

Let's break it down.

What does love mean?

an intense feeling of deep affection

What does distance mean?

make (someone or something) far off or remote in position or nature.

So love from a distance means

To have a far off remote intense feeling of deep affection for someone.

That's just..... well crap. I have worried and thought over this until I'm done.  It got me ...nowhere.  

I have been thinking more about what love is. 

What is love? What does the Bible say? 1 Corinthians 13

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. 

What love looks like....

 listening to a friend vent. 

laughing over something silly. 

encouraging a friend to keep fighting.

a text just to say hi. 

a sweet smile when words are not needed. 

when a child tells you...you look pretty. 

sharing your lunch.

holding your hand when you are sick. 

getting mail that is not a bill. 

giving a tissue. 

a hug.

One of my students tells me every day that he loves me.  He usually tells me more than one time during the day. The conversation usually goes like this.

Ms. Laura Lea 

Yes

I love you.

I love you too.  

Ms. Laura Lea I love you to your heart.

I love you to your heart too.

Ms. Laura Lea I love you  from your head to your toes. 

I love you from your head to your toes.

Ms. Laura Lea, I love you to the moon and back

I love you to the moon and back.  

That's love but there is a greater love..................The LOVE OF JESUS!  

  

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

For God so loved ME, Laura Lea, Lala that He gave His one and only son that if I, Laura Lea believes in him I will not perish but will have everlasting life! John 3:16

Now that is love. 

It's been a day and a half....

It's been a day and a half....ok it's really been more like forever since I blogged. But it has been a day and a half since I decided to start again.   You know getting healthy.  Getting back on track. Dieting.  Changing my lifestyle.  I want to be skinny. We all know the lingo.  We know the talk.  How you say it really don't matter ... the struggles are  real.  

Oh the struggles.  How many times can I start again? Start on Monday, cheat by Tuesday, wait for another Monday. Oh it's Monday.  I need to get to the grocery store.  I need to drink water. I need to weigh. I need to get to the gym.  It's Tuesday...I'm overwhelmed.  Monday again...I really don't feel like starting this week. I'll wait until next Monday.....oh the struggle. 


Yesterday was Monday.  I started again.  I did ok. Better than last Monday.  This Monday I started to the gym again. That was to say  the least was...AWFUL.  I finally made it after school.  Way after school.  I did everything I could first but I knew I had to go.  I had to start. The worse part? Trying to get my shoes on in the bathroom.  Trying to get my shoes and socks on in the bathroom was a much exercise as walking on the treadmill.   I need room to get ready and more than a little stool to sit on.  I finally got them on and I was out of breath.  I made it to the treadmill.  I couldn't get the headphones to work. I tried and tried.  Finally they worked. YES!  I started walking slowly but walking...then they stopped. I had to have sound to hear what Dr. Oz had to say.  Oops..if you hit the red button that says stop.. the treadmill WILL stop and so will you.  That was almost a tragedy.  Time to change treadmills.  Moved to the next one. Sound - check.  Time set - check.  Weight - Check.  Age - Check.  Here I go... 2 and 1/2 minutes in. My feet hurt. I can't breath.  I sound like I a herd of elephants stomping through a forest.  I think I might need to stop.  Oh stopping would be easy.  But I faintly hear that voice. "Don't give up."  That voice that I use to know.  The one that never gave up or gave in and pushed through all the struggles to be healthy, skinny. and fit.  The hard headed woman that could not be told she couldn't do it.  Oh she is there.  Just buried deep inside for a bit.  She's coming back.  I heard that voice saying FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.  Slowly but surely I made it through.  I walked 20 total minutes.  I didn't give up.  

Today is Tuesday...I haven't cheated, I haven't given up, and I'm going back to the gym all the while hearing 
FIGHT
FIGHT. 
FIGHT

                                                                   

How I feel on the inside!

What I look like after exercise!