My great life!

My sweet girls!

My Rachel!

There's been more pictures than post lately! I guess life has been quiet lately.

The weather in Louisiana has been very unusual! The snow was beautiful.


I was not wanting the snow to come until later Thursday because the girls and I had plans. First the Quitman game then to see our B.Randy. Well....Go Lady Wolves! The other canceled. But it was OK because we ended up coming to my house and snuggling in for good girl talk. We woke up Friday morning ready to play in the snow.

We had so much fun. We played like we were little kids! We don't get snow much. We even took some really good pictures.

Later my Rachel and I were looking over them when I made the comment how skinny I looked. She responded that I just looked like one of them. They are all really skinny! Of course she was across the room. She probably does not know how kind that statement was. I have come so far to be able to hear that comment. I am still not an average size but to hear her say that warmed my heart. One of these days I am going to be an average normal size. Not the biggest girl in the place. For so long that was me. I love my Rachel.



Side note:

My friend and my trainer...My Bob.

A process!

My friend Philip from Sioux Falls who recently moved to Texas.

I think these pictures put things in perspective in how I have changed.
The first year

Year 2...not the best but see the change...60 pounds lost.

Year 3....110pounds lost...Summer 09

December 09....130 pounds lost

God blessed me with little brothers!

My two favorite little brothers! I love them too much!

Am I beautiful?

Am I beautiful? Don't answer because that's a rhetorical question.


I think I have blogged about this subject already. But here it goes again. I guess I am hung up on my outside appearance this days. I am adjusting to how I look.


I saw a guy in Walmart Sunday. He was nice looking guy. I got in line behind him. The way he looked at me just got me to thinking. I might be wrong (doubt it) but what I think he saw was an overweight girl. What I wanted him to see is a lady who has changed. I wanted him to see a lady who had been through a great deal to get to where I am now. I wanted him to see a new person who is working hard to be an average size. I wanted him to see a lady with a heart for people. I wanted him to see a lady who loves to laugh. I wanted him to see me just me not my weight.


The sad thing to me that as much as I want others to see me not my weight I am guilty of the same thing. We were having the discussion at work today about prearranged marriages. (We have good conversations at work.) After the girls named a few people, I realized how guilty I am of doing the very thing that is my pet peeve. I look at people by appearance first. In reality, you do meet most people by appearance first but how often do we shut people off because of what they look like, what they are wearing, their race, their size, their hair. I am guilty. How can I expect other to treat me fairly when at times I don't do the same.



How do we change it? I don't know how you change but I can change me. My favorite verse is what I need to hold dear to me.

1 Samuel 16?7 Do not consider his appearance or his height for I have rejected him. The Lord doest not look at the things that man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart!

I think Brandon Heath's song puts it the best way!
Give me your eyes for just one second!

Give me your eyes so I can see!

Everything that I keep missing!

Give me your love for humanity!

Give me your arms for the broken hearted!

The ones that are far beyond our reach!

Give me the heart for ones forgotten!

Give me your eyes so I can see!

438, 400, 375, 350, .......290....250....210....190...175

Someone made the statement that they couldn't believe that I would Facebook or say how much I weighed when I started. 438. That's right. You should see the looks on faces when I tell that. It's unbelief usually. I don't mind. I know I was a big girl. I don't know how I carried that weight. I can talk about how much I weighed because I don't ever want to be that size again. I don't want to gain a pound back. I did gain about 10 pounds back and I didn't like it. I want to lose it and keep it off.

So I weighed 438...I will not weigh that again. My current weight is around 290. Yeah for me. I don't mind saying what it is now because I am getting smaller and I do not want to be that weight again either. 175 here I come!

A few pictures from 2009

My silly girls!

Sweet B.Randy!

My brothers!

Who am I?

Lately I have been feeling very overwhelmed. I even debated posting this because I don't even know that it makes any sense to anyone but me.

Things have changed for me. Definitely physically. I look at pictures and wonder who that girl was and how did I get that way. So many people say I don't remember you that way. That was me. Its funny to think that I have changed so much physically but have I changed in other ways too?

My thoughts on food and exercising have definitely taken a turn for the better. I don't look at food for comfort or happiness any more. I think before I put it into my body. I plan what I am going to eat daily sometimes more into the future than that. I am addicted to exercise. I know every Wednesday is my hard workout day and look forward to it. I get up in the morning thinking about what exercise I will do that day. Food and exercise are my life.

I cannot go a day without someone asking me about my weight loss or what I am doing. Give them motivation. Give them tips. Tell them what to do to get it done. This doesn't mean I want anyone to quit asking or motivating me!

My life has become obsessed and consumed with it all. It overwhelms me. Am I me or am I the weight loss? It's nothing no one else has done. I have made it this way.

I am proud of the accomplishments. I am excited to continue on my journey. I guess what I am dealing with is how to be me who I have always been but yet change at the same time and not be totally consumed with it. Am I different? Will I always need to be consumed with it to reach the goal and then maintain it? What will I be like when I reach goal? I have so many questions!