Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Beauty

People should think before they speak.

Today I was told that I was so much prettier now. While I realize this statement has truth in it, it had the potential to be very hurtful.

Here's my opinion/attitude. I know that my beauty does not come from the outside. I know that I am not going to the casting call for America's Next Top Model. Whether I am over 400 pounds or 150 pounds, my beauty is on the inside. My beauty is not set by weight. It is set by the characteristics that God blessed me with to make people feel special and know that they are loved.

So today when this lady commented on my beauty ... it was like water off a duck's back. Her voiced opinion, even though she thought she was throwing a compliment, did not really mean anything. But if I had to tell her anything...think before you speak.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The stairs vs the elevator! Who won?

We left for the Louisiana Baptist Convention's Youth Evangelism Conference on Sunday. Feeling strong, I was ready to tackle being gone and out of my routine. I loaded my snacks into my bag and set my mind that I would good. What I didn't know is that I would be challenged to decide....stairs or elevator?

Day 1....getting on the elevator to head the 4th floor..yeah the 4th floor!!!.....with my luggage...anyone who knows me knows I don't pack light! There I was waiting on the elevator when I heard a Bob (Biggest Loser) voice..."you gonna take that elevator?" Was it a question or a challenge? It was a challenge....I responded with "NO I'm taking the stairs!" Reminder....4th floor heavy bag!

I won the challenge! I made it up the stairs with my bag and my pride! Thinking back to the old me...I might have made it to the second floor without giving up and taking the elevator. There was a voice in my head saying ...go go go ands some of my guys and girls surrounding me supporting me to do it. I beat the stairs!

That's not the only challenge I won! My girls made a pack with me that they would take the stairs with me every time. Not all of them went with me every time but I had at least one of them with me while taking the stairs each and every time I went up and down.

We were there 3 days...Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday.... Monday night was loooong day and I was so tired! I hit the hotel and my thoughts started racing. STAIRS OR ELEVATOR? The day had been long, my feet hurt with my cute shoes but I would not be let down by my actions. So when Cierra, Diana, and I came in...we hit the stairs with our purses, bags, and tired feet!

NO elevator! I took the stairs all three days. I didn't do it for my girls or for my trainer! I did it for me because it is one of the battles that I have to win so that I can win the war!

Where am I now?

It has been too long since I posted. To be honest with everyone August, September, and October brought nothing to post about. I struggled bad through those three months. In reality I probably gained 8 to 10 pounds through those few months.

I wish that I knew where my mind was when making the decisions I was made. It certainly was not on weight loss. It was more about the taste of the food and the excuses I had not to exercise. I made some really stupid choices. Choices to do what felt good and not what was best for me and my health. NO I did not go back to all of the habits that I had when I started but I saw myself adding back in bad habits. It was a struggle!

So where am I today late in November?
I am back on track!

At the beginning of November...something happened. I got up one Sunday morning and decided that I was going to eat right that day, do good, and start over the next day. And that is what I did...I ate right one day, then the next, then the next. I put out a plea with all my friends and family who have supported me since day 1 and they responded with prayer and encouragement.

That same Sunday...a friend stated we would start back walking ....and we did. Walking every day. She reminded me every day we would walk. It took a couple of days and we were back into the swing of things walking and talking a mile. The two of us have even ran a couple of the laps each time we walk...we laugh wondering if those couple of running laps really matter! She encourages me.

Then another friend has become my personal trainer and encourager. We have only trained a few times but just knowing that I have to answer the question "How'd you do this week?" helps me make good choices each day. He is added to my list to take to Oprah.

So many people encourage me...I cannot begin to name everyone that encourages me with a word, smile, text, or FB to help me reach my goal. I feel like I am back on track and it is because of the prayers of my mother!, my fantastic friends and fabulous family.

My dream would be to run ahead and see what life will be like when I reach my goal of 176 pounds. I want to know what I will look like and what I will feel like. Who will I be...me just in a healthy body. I am actually beginning to see me at goal. The old me is goal but the me now can begin to see the new me...coming soon!

Oh you wanna know what I have lost.....a total of 116 pounds!