I went to a ballgame recently. The guy behind me was mouthing at the ref. It was funny because most of the time he was right. But something hit me wrong. I heard him call out some names that bothered me. He was calling one of the players a name. Then he referred to one of the refs as the fat one. That one really bothered me. By the way, I know the guy that was sitting behind me. I am not upset with him but he did get me to thinking.
I cannot tell you how many times that I had heard things, mean things said to me. I have been called names to my face and behind my back. I have been called fat, a whale, Shammou. I can tell you those things are hurtful.
I can think of different times that I really got my feelings hurt. I thank God that he has let me forget most of the hurtful things that have been said.
I cannot remember a time when I haven't had a weight problem. Elementary school was no different. I was always bigger than the other students. There was this guy that I thought was so cute. OK I was like 11. I thought he was fantastic. Until one day. We were playing around after school and he called me a water buffalo. OH YEAH! It hurt my feelings so bad. That was it. I decided to ignore him and I didn't care. That started it. I would not speak if he spoke to me. It hurt my feelings so bad. Funny thing. He told his mother I was being ugly to him! But he failed to tell her that he called me an ugly name. Shame on him. But shame on me because even after that I still thought he was cute. Ugh!
Then...in high school. I was at a local grocery store with a friends of mine. We talking and laughing with her boss the manager. Somehow the subject came up about me getting a job. His immediate comment was "she is fat." I am not talking about a child. This was an adult. ADULT in age but child in maturity. It took me a long time to even go back in. My mother and daddy did not shop in that store for a long time. I ignore him for a long time. But I have to think now that yeah I was the bigger person in that situation but not by weight.
On into college.....I was graduating from college looking for a job. At NSU, we had a teacher job fair where school systems came in and you could interview with them. Things went well that day. I interview with lots of parishes. Promising places. But one place would have had to be the last job in La for me to go to. The conversation was going pretty well when he asked me a question. I quote...So how do you think you can get up and down off the floor with those kids being that big? I was so shocked. How could a professional ask me that! He did though. Needless to say...I came back to my parish where there are people who love me for me.
Things don't change...when I first started losing weight everyone was so excited for me. But I had someone make a comment to me. I hope that they really didn't mean the way it sounded but it was hurtful. I was told that if I keep losing that then she would be the biggest one at work. It really bothered me. It was like saying you big fat thing. I think that she didn't mean it the way it came out.
So why am I talking about this now. You remember the old saying:
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words with never hurt me. Words do hurt. Wounds from sticks and stones will heal usually quickly but words hurt for a long time. Words cannot be put back in. I did a children's message one time using toothpaste. You know once you squeeze the toothpaste out, it don't go back in. The same with words. They cannot be put back in no matter how many apologies are spoken.
Be careful little words what you say because words do hurt.
4 comments:
so sad. well, i always thought you were so super cute and just so much fun!! people are so rude. i have to tell you, although i LOVE my little louisiana neck of the woods, i've never run across people even almost as mean anywhere else i've lived (and i've lived lots of places). it's always kind of a shocker when we come back.
a friend of ours always said that words are like bullets...once their shot, they can't be taken back. a good analogy, too, with the mean words...like bullets, they really do wound.
love you girl. maybe we'll get that little hang-out in before the 24th. :)
James 3:2-10~~
We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.
Laura...I am shocked at what people have said and done to you over the years. How can people be so careless and cruel with their words and actions? Kids are one thing but ADULTS??? Give me their names..I'll pay them a visit! Just kidding!
For what it's worth, I think you are a beautiful person...inside and out. Like I told you before, I can see that you have lost weight but I never really saw you as "big"...just Laura.
I am so proud of you for how far you've come and how far you're gonna go...you are an inspiration to us all. Love ya!
I remember in 8th grade I was a "tigerette" haha. This guy came up to me and was like you're too fat to be cheering (i didnt cheer. grr). And even though I loved it, and was completely confident (up until that moment) that I wanted to do it all the way through school, I finished my last game (a couple weeks later) and didn't try out for the next year. I wasn't any fatter than other girls who were doing it, but for some reason that really messed with me... My weight was pretty stable until then, and after then (with the exception of one good weight loss stint I had) I have gained steadily since then... BLEH! I'm sure that guy forgot that immediately, he probably said it jokingly... but for 11 years it has bothered me. Isn't that crazy?!
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