I will yet praise Him.

I read this article today about What they don't tell you about weight loss.  It stirred up some thoughts in me that I wanted  to share. 

Be prepared I use the word FAT... A lot.  

Someone told me that even though I may lose weight and get skinny I might still see myself as fat.  Aka FAT GIRL BRAIN.  

confession.  I've really never had fat girl brain.  Even at my top weight (438), I didn't see myself as big and fat as really was.   I was just me.   People loved me as I was.  No matter my size.   No matter the number.....I was confident.   Sassy. Loving.  Outgoing.  Fun.   

The people that knew me accepted me.   The people that didn't.....well didn't matter.    I would win them over.  

I never saw myself as a fat girl.  Don't get me wrong I knew I was big. The scales didn't lie. But I carried on having no thoughts of limitations.   

What would I, Laura Lea tell you about weight loss....

Lord it's hard to be humble.  

It's hard for me to remain humble and not be vain.

This is not my first rodeo ride in the weight loss arena.  Several years ago I lost a significant amount of weight.   I was not the same person in the way I looked or on the inside.   I WAS ARROGANT AND VAIN.  It was all about what I had done and how hard I had worked.  

God got no credit.  

When the new journey started in January, I knew that it ALL had to be about it.  Everything.   He receives the glory.  It's not about me. It's about him.  It's about Him writing my story.   

I read this on a blog and refer to it often....

God is the author of your story, not you.   He has a plan and a purpose for you that is greater than you could dream up or imagine. If you think your dreams are big, imagine how big His dreams must be for you! If He is the author, He knows the beginning, the middle and the end. Nothing is too complex for Him, no detail is left unnoticed, and His timing is perfect. Sometimes life can be complicated, hard and confusing, but that’s why we have to remember that we have the God of the universe in charge of our story.

His plan and purpose for this journey is bigger and greater than I can begin to imagine.  If I took the pen and write it and took credit for it, it would be plain, simple, and ordinary.  

When He writes, it's big, amazing, and extraordinary.  

So what will I do? 

I will yet praise Him, my great Redeemer. 

I will yet stand up and give Him glory with my life
He takes my darkness and He turns it into light
I will yet praise Him, my Lord my God!  

Meeting Singles at the grocery Store

I'm a hopeless romantic.  Romantic movies.  Love stories.  Hearing how people met. Some of my favorite movies are A Knight's Tail, Toy Story, and Steel Magnolias...all include a love story of some kind.  My favorite movie is YOU'VE GOT MAIL!  The encounter at the book store with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks is enchanting. 

There is a little homeless romantic in every girl. Getting flowers for no reason from your secret admirer.  Bumping into him at the local coffee shop.  Or that chance encounter at the grocery store meeting forever love....❤️❤️❤️❤️
Ohh where was I?  The grocery store. 

Today I ran into Brookshires.    I was in hurry to get my stuff and get back to work.  I had to get fruit, breakfast, lunch, water......  I was headed for salad dressing when I saw him. 

I smiled at him. 

He smiled back. 

I took the left and he keep going.  Until I head him speak to me. I stopped.  I was no longer in a hurry.

The exchange:


Excuse me honey you have a sweet smile. 

Awe thank you so much. 

Sweetheart you have a beautiful smile never quit smiling.  What's your name?

Thank you so much.  My name is Laura.  What's your is name and how are you today?

Laura that is a perfect name just for you.  My name is Leonard and I'm doing well.  Especially now that I've seen that smile. 

Can I give you a hug? 

You certainly can! 

It was so nice to meet you Leonard.  I hope I run into you again very soon my friend.  Please be safe in this rain.

Awe Laura it was nice to meet you and I hope to see you again real soon with that nice smile.  No worries about this rain, we should don't get rained on much. 


This brief encounter made me heart swell and tears well up in my eyes. 

Leonard was a young 80 plus year old tiny man with a sweet smile, a kind heart, and a sparkle in his eyes. My romantic side believes he was probably married to the same sweet lady for 60 plus years.  Now he lives alone because his children and grand children and great grands have all moved away.  He has his church family and neighbors that check on him.  He has his regular routines.  One being that he goes to Brookshires every Friday morning to pick up a few things. But today was different. 

Someone smiled at him.  For no reason but that she could.

Smile people.  Even if people don't smile back.  You never know what they one smile might change someone's day.  He changed mine. 

Sincerely,
One Hopeless Romantic

The weight of the WORLD

Last week something happened to me that hurt me.  Deeply. A friend would correct me by saying "you allowed" it to hurt you.  Whatever way you say it.... words hurt.

What words?

You are fat.

I was told I was fat.  I didn't need to be told that because I wear the weight every day.  I see myself in the mirror everyday.  I know what the scales say every day. Someone stepped in and said hey we are big women we know that we are what we are.

"After those words, I started eating healthy and exercising and getting healthy." NO I CAN NOT SAY THAT I DID.   I didn't.

I did go to the doctor for other reasons. Besides weight.    Where yet another discussion about it was had.   It was one of kindness, concern, and love.  The conversation that I've had is the same as the one I've had with every one of doctors, nurse practitioners, friends, family.  You have to do this.  You have to get healthy.

I know what healthy feels like. I've been there. I know what heavy feels like.  Been there. Done that.  I know what the weight of the world feels like too.  I'm there.  It is heavier now because I know what healthy feels like.

I have joined a weight loss challenge group.
Honestly.
I love honesty.

I want to be ready.  I'm not.  My doctor wants me to see a dietitian.  I'm not all in.  People from everywhere want me to eat right and exercise. I know.  Its not that I don't want to be healthy or skinny.  I'm scared. 

I'm scared.  Scared of what?

Working really hard to lose a significant about of weight and gaining it back.  Fighting everyday to lose and then BAM! something happens and it creeps back up.  I really thought I had it together 2X.  2X  2X
 Nope.  Gained it back.  Not all but most.  I'm not afraid that I can't do it.  I'm afraid that I will work very hard and see success and then "re-collapse". Yeah that's not a word.

Relapse.  Like a drug addict or an alcoholic.  Back to the old ways.

 Re-collapsing scares me.

I have to think what will be different about this time. Prior-knowledge of previous attempts?

Even though all the fretting, anxiety, fears, tears....I know what has to be done.

What you ask?

I have to put on my big girl panties and just do it.

 Forget all the negative.  That's Satan.  He will do his best to take hold of our minds and fill it with nonsense.   I need to fill my mind up on good things. The Bible speaks of that...
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians‬ ‭4:8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I will set my mind on these things as I start my journey to get right. Hold on tight to His promises.


HOLD TIGHT AND FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!!

To be continued.....

I really do love mustard

 I recently had the opportunity to go with my home church to Lake Charles on a mission trip. Going in I thought it just our little group.  I was wrong!  It was a kickoff weekend for an event called FAMILY SERVE.  People from all over Louisiana, Texas, and a few other southern states came to minister to and tell people about Jesus.

I met some really fabulous people. Ashley and Blake...the sweetest couple!  Precious Ashley is a kindred spirit. They are church planters in Lafayette.   Just hearing part of their story from Blake made me love them even more. They moved from their comfortable big nice house to a fixer upper in the neighborhood they minister in.  Wow.  

Our church helped Sulphur Community Church with their Community Block party. It was a beautiful day to be outside.  Jumpies.  Food.  Snow cones.  Face painting.  And Jesus.  It doesn't get much better than that!!!  I was in charge of the face painting station. I love face painting. I really do.  It gives me the opportunity to talk to children and some adults one on one and build a quick relationship with them as each one sat in my chair.  As I painted superman symbols around eyes and crosses on cheeks, I was able to ask questions about if they went to church and what they knew about Jesus.  Seeds were planted through a simple activity that children love.

OH THE SWEET FACES.....

 


Then there was this one face.

 Face paint...check.  brushes....check. Napkins...check.  Water...check. I was set up ready to go.  Children...check. check. check!  It all started with one little boy wanting  a superman eye and it ended with a tear drop from an adult.  I started around 11:30. At 1:30 I realized that I had not had anything to eat since early morning.  I ask one of our students to please go fix me something. I would eat and paint.  I continued to paint while waiting on Jonathon to bring my much needed lunch back to my table. 
Suddenly I felt a tap on the shoulder.  It was my new friend who had been assisting me by adding what some of my paintings needed to make it just right. 

 He said "Hey do you like mustard?" Me "Not really." Him "Oh well I put mustard on it" Me "Well, I really don't mind mustard. I actually do love mustard."  Suddenly I loved mustard.  There he stood, plate in hand,  with a hamburger and a hot dog. The other hand had three bags of chips from which I could choose my favorite kind. 

How great the Father's love.  How vast beyond all measure. I saw the Father's love for me in this simple act of this child.  I was humbled at that moment.  I was there to serve him but yet a simple act of fixing my lunch was so much more.  I saw Jesus in the face of that child.  Oh to be like that child and humble do for others.  To meet people at their need.  What a great lesson to learn from a willing little boy. 

That was the best hamburger, hot-dog, and bag of Cheetos I've ever had. 

Overwhelmed by God's Faithfulness

 

Lately I have been simply overwhelmed by God. 
I am overwhelmed. 
Overwhelmed.
Overwhelmed in a big way.
Overwhelmed by a big God. 

The move has been something that I have anticipated for a long time. I prayed for a long long time that God would change my situation.  OH I loved my job.  I loved my family.  I loved my church.  But I was sad. I was unhappy.  I was fighting a major battle.

There were days on end before I moved that I would go to work. Go home. Go to bed when I got home in the  early afternoons. Get up eat. Go back to bed. Stay there until it was time to go to sleep.   Repeat the next day.  It was a rough time.   At the time I was going through all this, I didn't even know what I was fighting.  I thought I was just fighting sickness and fatigue from the arthritis.  It was more.  Depression.

BUT God.....

When praying about leaving the old hometown, I would pray (actually beg) God to move me. But there was this fear that I would move and still be alone and fight the loneliness. I would go from my little lonely town to a bigger lonely city.  I know that some people may not believe this but I was scared of being alone.  One of my dearest friends put it best when she recently said you feed off of people.  You get our energy from others.  That is so true. I love people.  I am a people person and I was retreating to my house daily. (Thank God for weekends.)

BUT God remained......

Over the last two years, God has surrounded with people who have become not "like" family but family.  It all started with one friend who ask me to join his church on a mission trip to NOLA.  On this trip God used a group of 3 men and one lady to speak words of encouragement and pray over me.  He gave me a roommate that would one day let me sleep on her couch on my weekend visits.  :)  God began to build relationships that I would need as HE transitioned me from one place to another.  God was "fixing" it so that when He was ready for me to move...there would be no need for fear of loneliness. 

BUT God remained faithful....

He knew exactly when it would be time for me to move. He knew way better than me. He knew I needed time to heal from old relationships and build new ones.  He knew.  He remained faithful to fill my life.

But God remained faithful and I am overwhelmed.

I am overwhelmed by His faithfulness when I walk through the doors of my church every Sunday and I'm greeted a sweet faithful man standing at the door welcoming everyone in.

I am overwhelmed His faithfulness for friends that would come late one night to bandage my hurt toe and help clean up the mess after a very long busy weekend.

I overwhelmed by His faithfulness for friends that invite me over for a home cooked meal, laughs, and good conversation. 

I am overwhelmed by His faithfulness when I enter the gym to watch three sweet girls play basketball and they are excited to see me.

I am overwhelmed by His faithfulness at every "Gumbeaux" church birthday celebration and every Sunday family lunch.

I am overwhelmed by His faithfulness when someone who has never met me shows up at the hospital to see about me and pray over me...and witnesses to the nurse as she ministers to me.  (And I had second visitor that I missed)

I am overwhelmed by His faithfulness when a cherished friend told me that she had never seen anyone adjust to a new city like I had. 

I am overwhelmed by His faithfulness when He uses someone's words to encourage each time we speak in person or text. 

I am overwhelmed by His faithfulness when I need family time and binge watch TV.

I am overwhelmed by His faithfulness as He continues to bring more people into my life.  

I am overwhelmed by His faithfulness everyday.  Lord may I never forget Your overwhelming faithfulness to work Your plan in Your time for Your purpose.  

Over the last few months I have been disheartened by the church.  It began to feel like a social club.  Cliqueish. I started asking myself why do I or we go to church.  To see our friends? To catch up? To study God's word? To worship? Because he or she is there? Because it's what's expected? Why?  Why is it important to be "in" church.   I've learned the  answer....

Last week I made a choice while in Guatemala on mission.  I decided on Saturday the first day that I would learn everyone's name and something about them on our team.  By Sunday night I knew everyone and a little something about everyone.   I love people. I love getting to know people.  It was amazing learning about each person.

I learned that someone loved lipstick and flip flops.
I learned that someone had a major lost a week before they came.
I learned that someone was starting a new career.
I learned that someone was struggling with a loss.
I learned that someone was really funny!
I learned that someone  was caring.
I learned that someone had been married a month and a day.
I learned that someone was loving.


Learning and loving.   On a bus singing, praying, and riding through the mountains.  In a center loving on babies.  At a day care center for adults tossing a ball. .  Getting to know each other.  Loving those that need the most love together. Letting down walls.  Serving beside one other.  Changing diapers.  Listening.   Thinking of others before yourself.  Laying your heart out before new friends.

The church is not the building. It's the people.  It's being outside the four walls.  It's doing and being the church.  It's loving and listening.  It's service and serving.

So what about Sunday's?  Sunday's are for bringing the church together to renew, refresh, and recived to go back into the world and be the Church.

Go be the church!!!

I am enough...I not meaning me!

"We don't want to fall. We want to see great testimonies of Gods grace but we don't want to be the testimonies."

I don't cry much.  I usually save it for one big episode and let it all go at one time.  I usually make up some excuse that I am tired.

Yesterday I was very tired. So I had a big ugly cry. 

So many things racing through my mind and my heart.

I had a long overdue conversation that was emotional.
People all around me mourning a great lost.
In a quiet season of my life.
Harsh words from a friend that still linger and hurt.
Feeling physically sick.  
Facing changes. 
There is a strained friendship.
All of this overwhelmed me.

All this I try to hide well.

But I was really stressing over a lot and felt like I would burst.  I could no longer hold it in and tears began to flow. I said out loud.
"Hey I'm having a moment. A cry moment."  I think they were both surprised. They listened to my woes and gave me advice, took my side, and said things to make me feel better.  But that is not what made the difference. What happened next did. 

As we getting ready to walk out the door, one of the ladies picked up her two new devotional books and told us about how good they were.  I cannot even tell you the name of  either one of them.  She picked up one of the books and began to read.
God has a way of showing up.
  I am enough....here is what she read....

I had a long overdue conversation that was emotional....The coming season will be extraordinary and filled with delight.

People all around me mourning a great lost and there are no words.....When darkness comes, I am enough to see you through the night.

In a quiet season of my life....When you are lonely and seek companionship, I am enough.

Harsh words from a friend that still linger and hurt...When the lies men have spoken bring disturbance into your mind, I will wash them away, for My Word is enough. 

Feeling physically sick....I am enough, I will be your wrap around shield in the midst of your difficulty. 

Questions about timing...What looks like delay after delay will make sense to you as the clouds part and the light of glory shines through.

Facing changes...I am about to bring you into a place where you have never been before.

There is a strained friendship....When your heart is troubled over many things, you must bring your soul before Me, for I am enough. 

Overwhelmed...You must know, My Child, that I am enough.  

I am thankful that HE is enough and he shows up at the exact moment to remind me that HE is enough.  
 

Whatever you are facing ....He is saying to you....I am enough!
How great you are, Sovereign Lord! There is no one like you, and there is no God but you, as we have heard with our own ears. 
1 Samuel 7:22

King of My Heart

I spoke at a ladies conference in October of this year.  God used that opportunity to continue to help heal me spiritually and physically.  

This is the testimony I gave that day.  

 Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.  

The last few weeks as I've been thinking and praying about what to say and the song KING OF MY HEART has been on my mind.  It's been on the radio I think every morning and every afternoon on my way to and from school.  The words say. "You are bigger than any battle I'm facing. Bigger than any thing I've been chasing.   These words really spoke to me. "

 KING OF MY HEART 

Over the last 4 years I've faced a battle that I couldn't handle.  I've had some really bad times.  Times I didn't want to get up out of bed.  I didn't want to face people.  I wanted to give up. Very low times.  

I stand today to tell you that but even in the darkest times God was there.  I couldn't handle it but with Him I can! He was fighting for me and still is.  He has surrounded me with friends and family that love me and lift me up.  Ministered through scripture that friends shared. He was there.  Through people that didn't even know they were helping.  He used times of worship and the Word to speak to me.  He was there.  He was there sometimes whispering other times shouting at me...I've got you.  

The song says He is bigger than any battle I face. But It also says that he is our hope.  Philippians 4:4-6 says Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  

It would seem strange that a man in prison would be telling us to rejoice. But Paul's attitude teaches a big lesson.  OUR INNER ATTITUDES DO NOT HAVE TO REFLECT OUR OUTER CIRCUMSTANCES. Paul was full of joy because he knew that Jesus Christ was with him. It is so easy to get wrapped up in our circumstances and be discouraged. But we have a Savior who has fought for us and will continue to fight for us. 

Lift up your head God our fighter is on our side Christians!   Trust Him.  Psalm 20:7 says some trust in chariots, some in horses, but WE trust in the name of The Lord our God.  

Side-note:

After I spoke that day, a sweet lady called on  pray for me.  The ladies gathered around, laid hands on me and I was anointed with oil.     Hearing the voices of the ladies praying for me was amazing.  They prayed for courage, faith, strength, and healing.  They thanked God for who I am and how he made me. I felt the strong presence of the Lord surround me and fill me. I am thankful for those ladies, most of them whom I didn't know, for praying for me and lifting me up!  It is a day I will not forget. OH what a blessing!

Love --- don't use the word lightly.

This is therapy.

Love from a distance. A friend once told me this.  Yes she did. She had decided to love me from a distance.

My first thoughts...Really? What the heck does that mean!? Are you crazy cra?

Let's break it down.

What does love mean?

an intense feeling of deep affection

What does distance mean?

make (someone or something) far off or remote in position or nature.

So love from a distance means

To have a far off remote intense feeling of deep affection for someone.

That's just..... well crap. I have worried and thought over this until I'm done.  It got me ...nowhere.  

I have been thinking more about what love is. 

What is love? What does the Bible say? 1 Corinthians 13

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. 

What love looks like....

 listening to a friend vent. 

laughing over something silly. 

encouraging a friend to keep fighting.

a text just to say hi. 

a sweet smile when words are not needed. 

when a child tells you...you look pretty. 

sharing your lunch.

holding your hand when you are sick. 

getting mail that is not a bill. 

giving a tissue. 

a hug.

One of my students tells me every day that he loves me.  He usually tells me more than one time during the day. The conversation usually goes like this.

Ms. Laura Lea 

Yes

I love you.

I love you too.  

Ms. Laura Lea I love you to your heart.

I love you to your heart too.

Ms. Laura Lea I love you  from your head to your toes. 

I love you from your head to your toes.

Ms. Laura Lea, I love you to the moon and back

I love you to the moon and back.  

That's love but there is a greater love..................The LOVE OF JESUS!  

  

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

For God so loved ME, Laura Lea, Lala that He gave His one and only son that if I, Laura Lea believes in him I will not perish but will have everlasting life! John 3:16

Now that is love. 

It's been a day and a half....

It's been a day and a half....ok it's really been more like forever since I blogged. But it has been a day and a half since I decided to start again.   You know getting healthy.  Getting back on track. Dieting.  Changing my lifestyle.  I want to be skinny. We all know the lingo.  We know the talk.  How you say it really don't matter ... the struggles are  real.  

Oh the struggles.  How many times can I start again? Start on Monday, cheat by Tuesday, wait for another Monday. Oh it's Monday.  I need to get to the grocery store.  I need to drink water. I need to weigh. I need to get to the gym.  It's Tuesday...I'm overwhelmed.  Monday again...I really don't feel like starting this week. I'll wait until next Monday.....oh the struggle. 


Yesterday was Monday.  I started again.  I did ok. Better than last Monday.  This Monday I started to the gym again. That was to say  the least was...AWFUL.  I finally made it after school.  Way after school.  I did everything I could first but I knew I had to go.  I had to start. The worse part? Trying to get my shoes on in the bathroom.  Trying to get my shoes and socks on in the bathroom was a much exercise as walking on the treadmill.   I need room to get ready and more than a little stool to sit on.  I finally got them on and I was out of breath.  I made it to the treadmill.  I couldn't get the headphones to work. I tried and tried.  Finally they worked. YES!  I started walking slowly but walking...then they stopped. I had to have sound to hear what Dr. Oz had to say.  Oops..if you hit the red button that says stop.. the treadmill WILL stop and so will you.  That was almost a tragedy.  Time to change treadmills.  Moved to the next one. Sound - check.  Time set - check.  Weight - Check.  Age - Check.  Here I go... 2 and 1/2 minutes in. My feet hurt. I can't breath.  I sound like I a herd of elephants stomping through a forest.  I think I might need to stop.  Oh stopping would be easy.  But I faintly hear that voice. "Don't give up."  That voice that I use to know.  The one that never gave up or gave in and pushed through all the struggles to be healthy, skinny. and fit.  The hard headed woman that could not be told she couldn't do it.  Oh she is there.  Just buried deep inside for a bit.  She's coming back.  I heard that voice saying FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.  Slowly but surely I made it through.  I walked 20 total minutes.  I didn't give up.  

Today is Tuesday...I haven't cheated, I haven't given up, and I'm going back to the gym all the while hearing 
FIGHT
FIGHT. 
FIGHT

                                                                   

How I feel on the inside!

What I look like after exercise! 

Mean girls

I am laying here trying to decide what to write about and the one thing I keep coming back is MEAN GIRL. 

After a wonderful week in Guatemala, I was on cloud 9. What a wonderful week we had.  Loving on children.  Fellowship with believers.  Learning more about ourselves.  And growing with my Lord.  But it doesn't take long for someone to enter into your life and jump on your cloud.

I always wonder who I will sit by on a plane. I actually worry because of my size and the size of the seats. This is a big girl worry.  I pray that it is someone I can talk with, minister to, and feel comfortable with.  Someone who doesn't mind sitting by the big girl who may take up part of their seat.  The flight to GUA was great. I sat on the aisle beside a young lady also traveling to do mission work.  It was a nice flight.

Fast forward a week.   I again started praying about who I would sit by.   The worry was there again. 

21E.  I had a middle seat. NOT GOOD. 

As I entered the plane, I ask for a seat belt extender.  The steward as me what seat. When I replied, he said oh best seat on the plane.  HOW funny.  Eased up my nerve some.  I moved toward my seat anticipating who I would sit by.  There by the window was a sweet man. I received a sweet smile as I sat down.

We waited for a while for our third neighbor to arrive.  At the last minute, a lady approached my row.  She looked at me.  She just didn't look at me she eyed me. 

Carl the steward approaches.  This is our the conversation went.

I don't mean to be rude but I can't sit here.
Carl: Excuse me.
HER......While looking at me....I don't mean to be rude but I cannot sit here.  I need to put my arm rest down. And I cannot sit here.  I'm not trying to be rude.  But it is a 3 hour flight.

I started trying to get the arm rest down but she wouldn't have it. 
Carl showed her an empty seat two rows in front of us beside one of my friends.  I said I can go up there. I know here.  Carl insisted I stay where I was.  He said I would be fine.  It was ok. 

I leaned up to Stephanie...that was mean. Stephanie said...I can hit her on the head if you need me to....No. We were ready to get home. We didn't need to get kicked off the plane.

Carl seated her then came back to bring the extender and to see about me.  TOO LATE. The tears had started flowing.

Not only were there tears...there was snot, snubbing, and shaking.  I was so upset.  Never had I been so humiliated  in my whole life. 

Carl told me it was going to be ok.  Ask me if I need anything and after a list of things we settled on a Kleenex.  He brought the entire box.  

I thought I would never stop crying.  It hurt so bad.  My chest felt like it would explode.  I cannot imagine someone being so mean.  See if I live in a world where people love me and care about me.  They care about me but don't see my weight and even if they do...they don't show it.

The crying would not stop.  I was praying God help me when suddenly I felt arms reach around me from behind.  It was the best feeling. Someone was there when my heart was hurting so bad.  A sweet voice whispered to me that is was ok, I was loved, and that if I needed it anything he was sitting close behind me.  It was one of the men on our trip.  He had been a gentile giant the entire trip. Holding hands to get on the trucks, getting our bagging, making sure our small group walked together to the hotel, giving a hand to come down the steps.  And now he was there again to love on me when I really needed it.  Thank you God for a man like James who didn't care about what people thought just that someone was hurting.  My heart eased up and my crying slowed down.  I couldn't cry the whole flight. 

This was a 4 hour flight.  Carl.  Remember him?  He's still in the picture.  He came by me more times that I could count. He smiled at me, made conversation, insisted that I have a drink(even suggested Vodka as a joke).  He was just precious. 

I did stop crying and fell asleep off and on but rest assured this guy made sure my flight was not stressful.

Soon the Captain was saying that it almost time to land.  Guess who I found checking on me? Yep Carl.

He approached me, leaned down, and said " you have a great day." with a smile and a wink.
Then he leaned in closely and said....."Blessed are those who trust in the God of Israel."  I was taken back.  It was a sweet word spoken over me at a time most needed.  I patted him on the arm with a thank you.  As he walked a way, I was thinking I would not every see him again but what impression he had left.  A sweet kind thoughtful...I believe... a believer. 

Off the plane........walking to customs. When you are in the airport, people are constantly moving by you.  Pulling their bags.  I heard someone approaching from behind.  Then I feel someone brush right beside me.  It was Carl again.  He said hello with a smile.  Then ask my name. 

Laura.  Have a great day Laura and with a smile and my heart full....he walked on.

As I was thinking about what happened, still hurt over this mean girl, God began to speak to my heart.  I cannot say that my feelings were not hurt or my heart hurt.  I had been praying one thing but God had a better plan.  It was amazing how God used these two men to show His love.  It also made me aware that I need to be more alert to others that are hurting in my path.  We all need to be aware and alert to those around us that are hurting, grieving, crushed, suffering, tender, wounded.  They are out there but we just need to have our eyes, mind, and hearts open. 

1 John 3:18
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth

Guatemala 2012

Last week was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. 


Guatemala 2012was great.
Most people would say that the time in the center was there favorite and even though I LOVED the children and the center.  I think what meant as much to me was the time spend to and from the center.  

Sunday night, Ron made the announcement that we would be riding 3 buses. 
1. Cynthia....for those that loved to sing.
2. Karina....for those that liked to visit but not as much as bus 1.
and
3. Ron.....for those that needed quiet.

I immediately knew what bus I wanted to get on.  Cynthia's BUS! Ron was soon taking back those words because he had not checked with Cynthia.  We would be assigned buses. :/

Monday morning was full of excitement.  The time had come that all of us had been waiting on....the work at the center.  We met in front of our hotel,  prayed, and wait....buses were to be loaded as first said!  Singing bus it would be for me!

This was the beginning of the church bus.  Remembering back the first day I sat by Chad.  He was put on the bus because there was not room on the other bus.  There was Rachel, Sarah, Alyssa, Julie, Cynthia, Matt, Claira Linda, Kelly Ann, Stephanie, Jenn, The Hensley's,  Ronda, Beth, Alejandra, Kealsy, Aunt Ruth, Shauna, Chad, and myself.  The ride to the center was full of chatter and visting.  We sang some of the Spanish songs that we had been trying to learn.  We did ok.  Hahaha! We were actually busy.  We were looking for the five "f's".
Freeway.  Forrest. Furniture. Farms. and Flowers.  Cynthia had made this up to help a previous group of teenagers make time pass faster. It worked on a group of ADD adults!  

Tuesday morning was my favorite.  We sang hymns, praise choruses, we worshiped. Scripture was read.  People gave testimonies.  Prayers were uttered.  It was a sweet sweet spirit.  ALL ON A BUS.  It was full of God's children who were not within the four wall of a beautiful building.  Felt no constraints.  Just a sweet time fellowshipping and worshipping with their brothers and sisters.

Our lives should be like this.  Free of worry. Free of  limitations. Just living a life that is God-centered, full of worship, and focused on HIM. Seems radical? 

Let's be different.  Lets stand out in a world that needs to see believers representing a wonderful, beautiful Savior and Lord that we worship.

I am not there yet. I am far from perfect but I want to live as I am on the church bus everyday of my life. Singing. Worshiping. Praying. Living for HIM.  Focused on Him. Encountering Him.